Responding to Criticism or Negative Comments on Hubpages
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Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain… and most fools do. ~ Dale Carnegie
Hubpages provide for all writers the opportunity to develop their writing skills. The support that stimulates and encourages writers on every level is unique to other writing sites. It is precisely due to the positive feedback here on Hubpages, that we as writers remain loyal and motivated to continue to hone our craft.
Negative comments and criticism are rarely, if ever, helpful. In fact, dark feedback is limiting for most people. It is far better to "teach" than to "judge".
Let's examine some alternatives, for dealing with unkind comments.
Don't take anything personally
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”
Theodore Roosevelt
Perhaps one of the most helpful of life's lessons that I have learned occured while reading the book "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. This is what I read - "Don't Take Anything Personally". For me, that was a pivotal moment. Especially where criticisim and negativity are concerned.
Now, is this an easy habit to form? Absolutely not. Especially when youre reading comments about a hub you've just finished. You're emotionally attached to your "baby" and the last thing you want to hear is that your baby is ugly.
Taking things personally can discourage us from moving forward. One of the many reasons I enjoy being a writer for hubpages is the supportive and motivating comments I receive. As I scroll through the different comments offered by readers, I am instantly motivated and energized.
I refuse to give permission to anyone to "rain on my parade". Don't take anything personally. Besides, it's not always about you.
Distinguish Between Feedback and Insults
Is it feedback or is it a down-right insult? Sometimes feedback can be harsh but that doesn't mean it's an insult. And sometimes, it just depends on how we interpret the comment. An insult is a direct attack and usually requires you to simply ignore the person and "consider the source", as my mama used to say.
Don't be manipulated by an attack on your work. However, do not feel the need to defend it either.
Feedback is useful and helpful information. I recieved an email from a fellow hubber just today that had read my latest hub and found that I had repeated the same paragraph twice. I was relieved and grateful to have her feedback. It provided me with an opportunity to return to my hub and do some editing before too many readers spotted this mistake.
Sometimes we are conditioned, without even realizing it, to thinking that we are right. Time for a quick reality check if this sounds familiar to you.
It's almost a given, that when you publish articles, you will eventually recieve a negative comment. And as William Faulkner once said, " The artist doesn’t have time to listen to the critics. The ones who want to be writers read the reviews, the ones who want to write don’t have the time to read reviews."
How to Handle Negative Comments
Three tips for responding to negative comments:
- Wait before you reply.
When you find a negative comment scattered among all the positive, wonderful comments, focus on the good ones. Then, give yourself a minute, and take a few deep breaths before replying ... if you decide to reply.
2. Don't accept criticism.
You do have a choice. Think of a negative comment as a gift - one that you don't have to accept. If you were given a gift of poison, would you accept it? Of course not. Honor your own feelings. You have put time, talent, research and priority into your work. No one has the right to darken your light. Let it shine.
3. Ignore negativity
You are the only one that can give power to inconsiderate, manipulating comments. If you ignore the comment, it vanishes as soon as you replace it with kind and uplifting words. Whatever you are thinking at the moment is all that exsists.
How do you handle a negative comment?
See results without votingOn the other hand . . .
“Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing”
Aristotle
Not all criticism is created equally. There can be merit in what's being directed to you. If your self-esteem is "mountain high", as it should be - and we can always work on it - there may just be something that we can take away to help us with our writing skills.
What may appear as a negative, insenitive comment to one person, can be interpreted as helpful and direct to another. One may find a comment offensive while another finds the same comment enlightening. We are all from different backgrounds. Some are taught harsh criticism while others are led through gentle suggestion.
We, who truly enjoy the art of writing, do so for the love of it. Not much else really matters.
“I have yet to find the man, however exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than under a spirit of criticism.”
Charles Schwab
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I usually have to explain that the world is not flat and move on:-))
vocalcoach Your hub is just what I needed to read today. Thank you so much.
Up and Useful
Good morning. I can't imagine that you have received anything but lavish praise.
I expect that some people's comments hurt more than others might - because their approval is more important to us. The answer could be, not to require the approval of boors.
mckbirdbks - I am very moved by your kind words. They speak volumes. Thank you :)vocalcoach
Awesome , Beautiful and Useful too. Perfect is a button that needs to be added . I have councilor friend that has a term, "I didn't make you mad , you chose to be mad" , now I use that on my wife, Ha!!! Excellent points. all!
Thank you Vocalcoach! This is excellent advice and grateful to see it. I'm fairly new here and I really can learn from it. Up and awesome.
This was great and it is something I have thought about as I go through reading hubs and comments. The Four Agreements is one of my favorite books and one I refer to often just as a reminder. You are so right about hubpages being a great place to write and hone our skills..the support we get from other writers helps to motivate us to do better. I try always to leave a comment that will lift the writer in that moment. I do think there are times that it might be "personal" depending on what is written and not leaving a comment at all makes one wonder...."was what I wrote helpful or not". Great hub Vovalcoach...I will remember your wonderful words of encouragement the next time I might want to feel hurt.
Excellent advice, thank you.
I find no comments as hard to take as negative criticism. Positive criticism makes me feel as if I have to produce equal or better work as a "thank you " to those who have liked my hubs.
Great advice... I've read "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz... and it is one of my favorite books, it helped me get through some life challenges... and I try to not take anything personally!
I'm so glad you pointed out the difference between constructive feedback and criticism.
I recently wrote an article and sent it to a fellow hubber for his feedback. He was kind, and while pointing out the good, he was also helpful in pointing out ways I was "missing the mark". The end result was a much better article!
On the other hand, I recently received a comment that said, "this was overdone, but clever". After I finished reminding myself that it was one of over 50 comments (it only takes one), I stated that I was a terrible cook, so overdone was way better than burnt, and then I thanked him for saying I was clever.
Vague negative comments are not good feedback.
Excellent hub!!! Thank you!!
Such good advice! I almost always "allow" negative, critical and even attacking comments on my hubs, usually as a service to other hubbers to "be prepared" if the person comments on their hubs. Of course, the only hubs that garner negative feedback is my political hubs. I always try to steer the conversation in a way that focuses only on facts and leaves personal smears alone. If someone refuses to have a civil discussion I ask them not to come back and then start to deny their comments. I try so hard to be fair to everyone!
Great hub here, vocalcoach, it's definitely GREAT advice not to take this personally!
I think at one time or another we all have recieve a negative comment. I do just what you suggested, I read it, wait for awhile, decide if it's insulting or helpful feedback, and then answer if I want. I try to not worry if I feel it's an insult. If it's feedback that points out a mistake or tries to point me in a direction that needs help I answer and thank the person. You are absolutely right, you can't take it personally. Great hub. Rated up and awesome.
I guess if we put it out there, we have to expect that not everyone will like or agree with our Hubs. I'm happy to say, I don't see anyone being unkind or critical...I feel everyone is entitled to their opinion. I now need to say Vocalcoach, YOUR Hub was GOOD and informative.
I know a good response to negative criticism. This is what I do:
I reply with something like, “Oh really, do you think so? I’ll try harder next time” and then they leave me alone. Then I go and scrutinise their profile and see how close they are to me geographically. Usually it’s a long way, because most Hubbers (yes, I’m talking about Negatively Critical Hubbers here. There are some!), live in America or some other foreign places like that. And I live in the UK, so it’s a long way to go.
So when I find out where they live, and most of them give some sort of clues in their profile; somewhere silly called Texas or Nashville or Arkansas or some other la-di-da sounding place; then I’m half way there.
Now it gets easier. I find someone who lived near the nasty Negative Criticiser… I just look at all the Hubbers, and sometimes I find this New Hubber living in the same street (not every time, but sometimes) and I make friends with him (or her) and tell him (or her) they’re well good writers, and then they get to like me and we get to be Best Friends and then I VERY CLEVERLY say to them that some other Hubber (some Negatively Critical Hubber) lives in the next street and would my New Best Friend do something for me?
My New Best Friend says, “Yes of course”, (because they like me, and we’re Best Friends).
Then, after dark, my New Best Friend goes around to the Nasty Vindictive Negatively Critical Hubber and kicks his (or her) cat, or throws a brick through their window, and nobody ever finds out it was me behind it.
It always works.
This is one of the best hubs I have read in ages. I am bookmarking this so I can read again. Better than a help guide I would normally pay for.
Loving this hub! Fortunately, negative feedback is fewer than positives here on HubPages but when it is present it really can leave a mark. Thanks for writing about how to handle insults.
Great Hub idea vocalcoach, luckily I think most comments on Hupages are encouraging, which helps, but we also must be prepared for the negative and have the confidence to not take it personally. Take away what is relevant and let the rest go (easier said than done though...:-0)Thank you for sharing!
This is a very good hub...much respect on the positivity and honesty this hub portrays. I would like to add one comment as to criticism..."Don't attack the person, attack the problem" Sometimes hearing the comments regardless of the energy (positive or negative) and seeking the TRUTH of what is being said...will also aid in the handling criticism.
Great advice for new and old alike! Enjoyed tremendously. :)
Mercy me! Enjoyed this read and handle those things accordingly.
As you say you have a choice - to answer back and get involved in the negativity or not.
I agree it is important to give due consideration and to also perhaps, consider what the negativity may be about in real terms - what would the comment look like if it was written in the positive. Sometimes, perhaps as writers, we get carried away by the use of words. Thank you for raising this topic.
You make a number of excellent points in this hub, Audrey. One of the most helpful may be your reminder that if there is something that needs to be fixed on a hub you have read, you can always send a pleasant email to that author without putting it in the comment for all the world to see. Just advisin'.
You have written great advice about a sensitive area. Thanks for sharing your valuable thoughts.
sueroy333 - You have added a very good example of negative feedback. It really is a difficult thing to sometimes interpret feedback. You make an excellent point about how important it is to the reader to be clear and helpful when sending feedback. Being vague is no help at all. You have made an excellent contribution to my hub. Thank you very much! :)vocalcoach
mannyrolando - So great to meet you manny! We share a common bond with "The four agreements" and the wisdom to "not take anything personally". A life-changing lesson for sure. Now, I'm hopping over to your place to check out your hubs. Thanks- :)vocalcoach
Interesting how there was an even range of results from the vote! I'm glad to see somebody address this issue head on. You are the best person I can think of to do that! I have received only one negative remark and it was more of a derogatory statement making fun of me! Yes, it hurt for about a second! I chose to ignore it. Later I had a chance turn it around on them...tee hee...all in good fun!
emily - With all the time that goes into the 30 day hubchallenge, you still take your precious moments to read my hub. That is saying a whole lot about your character! What a gal - Thanks so much - :)vocalcoach
Great advice for negative commentary.
I too appreciate correction on my hubs sometimes and most people do that respectfully. I also have found people on Hubpages very respectful in that when they have had a question about something they messaged me privately.
I like your advice to not take it personal. I try my best to assume the person commenting is not trying to be intentionally negative and respond positively in return.
I do see the forums are a bit different. It seems a little hostile and tend to steer clear of them.
Astra - Why, thank you so much! Your appreciation makes all the work I put into this hub worth it. I love it!
Great advice. I leave all comments, especially the insulting ones so everyone can see.
This is a fantastic topic and a great hub. I agree with you that for the most part, the HUbPages community is very positive and welcoming. I tend to take these comments with a grain of salt and consider the source. If it comes from someone who doesn't even have a hub account, or does but has not published any hubs, I consider it trivial, ignore it and move on. If it's from a writer whom I follow and admire and respect (which has rarely ever happened), I try to consider it constructive criticism. You also have to remember that your topics may invite this type of behavior. I often write about political views, and I have very strong ones, and these are usually the ones that generate negative feedback. I have also noticed that those who choose to write about religion also get this alot. I think your hub had great advice. We also need to ask ourselves, are they badmouthing our writing or our opinion? There is a huge difference and I've noticed that most naysayers badmouth the opinions, not the actual writing. Voted up and useful!
This hub was a wonderful one for m. l know l´m oversensitive and lack confidence. It´s the usual encouraging feedback on hubpages that has kept me writing through a difficult year. Thank you for this hub, Great work. love, Dim
This wonderful hub reminds me of what Eleanor Roosevelt once said: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Thank you for sharing this thoughtful and intelligent perspective. :)
Very inspiring hub. I receive many comments through my hub though sometimes hard to accept negative comment. But I'll try to answer wisely. But personally, I love to give positive comment. This is like support each other. I know we need hard work and sometimes we need a lot time for research. That's why I want something like motivations comment. Thanks for writing this. Rate up up up up! Have a nice weekend!
Love and peace,
I love that quote Genna, one of my very favorites!
Interesting hub. Good suggestions.
mdlawyer - After reading your profile, I am honored to recieve good feedback from you. Thanks :) vocalcoach
vocalcoach~~ You are so maternal and I think we all need reminders about taking insults "with a grain of salt", as my dear Mom used to say... I always wonder if there is a little jealousy (definitely an insecure person), who has to be mean in feedback... I truly respect constructive help and seriously try to thank the rude person/ it typically disarms them.
Wonderful subject~~ Voted UP & AWESOME~~ thanks.
sunflowerbucky - What wonderful and helpful comments! You have made great points here. I certainly like your attitude. Very healthy and professional. Thanks so much! :) vocalcoach
prasetio, my dear friend - I am happy to hear your comments. You always motivate, support and encourage your fellow hubbers. That is an admirable achievement. I have always valued your comments to me and feel important and respected by you. We can all learn from your example. Thank you. I love the rating! :)vocalcoach
marcoujor - I'm with your mom. I am also with you and I like and admire your approach to critizism. It also occured to me that negative feedback could also come from someone just having a bad day. I think most of the time, it's just not about us. Great comments!
The art of writing lies to extract pleasure even in negative writing.
H P - How profound! An insightful thing to know. Thank you.
I do receive, from time to time, remarks about my grammar. I am fully aware of not being perfect becuse it is not my native language. I try hard to improve it but I will make mistakes. However, H P really put into the right perspective.
I enjoy reading comments, not only in my hubs but more so from other hubs. I learn a lot from them, like- people want to learn from these hubs, so I focus on the positives. Positives attract positives and I'm glad I haven't encountered negative comments.
Well while complementing you for writing on a very touchy issue,because psychologically, everyone likes praises and dislikes criticism.
I would say that if one is confident of what he or she has written, only then the negative comment can be ignored or dealt aggressively.... otherwise it is important to understand the message the comment is conveying and try to take it as a positive thing to improve upon.....of course such attitude do require very big heart.Thanks.
Thank you for publishing this outstanding article. I do not mind at all when a comment comes in that rebuts my position on an issue. I welcome that. The only comments that rile my feathers are Ad Hominem attacks, e.g., "You're an ignorant idiot" "You hate the poor" "You're a bigot" etc.
James, my beautiful friend - Comments such as those you've listed are an indication of stupidity and ignorance, not to mention immature. This is how children re-act. They try to attack the persons image instead of communicating in an adult way. Labeling others as "ignorant, etc." is a childish way for people to justify their own position. They are insecure to start with and threatened in some way by your comments. I would ignore name calling comments. These types of comments are not even worthy of a response. Love you, James :)vocalcoach
gajanis - You have made an important point. I thank you for adding your comments to this hub, as many, including me, will benefit from your wisdom. I, personally, do not mind critcisim if it is given the right way. And I would say, you have a very big heart :) Thanks
Lita - I am right with you on reading hubs and learning so much. Is'nt that great? In fact, I am hopping over to one of yours right now! Thanks.
This is a great hub with some really wonderful advice, I enjoyed reading it very much. However, I guess I spoke too quickly earlier....comments, or lack there of can hurt.
Dee - You are so right about this. As individuals, we tend to dwell on our own weakness, fears and doubts. Therefore, when we recieve a negative or critical comment, we
buy" into it - unless we have well-earned confidence. Thanks Dee. I very much welcome your comments. :)
hello - I personally think that being critical about the usage of language, when the hubs' author is from another country other than the USA, shows complete stupidity! I would like to see this critical person try to write a hub in a foreign language! How small this person is. He misses the entire point of writing hubs. If this happens to you again, I suggest you either ignore and delete this type of comment, or send a reply written in a foreign language with "thank you so much" at the end. This poor fella (or woman) will be scratching their head all day, trying to figure out how they failed at sending you such a negative comment. :):) "Love you, Hannah!!!
Hi, Vocalcoach! It took me almost 40 years if not 50 to master the art of "Not Taking Anything Personally". I can, as a matter of fact, thank the editors of magazine for this, who did not hesitate to disapprove my stories that were not on the standard they wanted it to be. Thanks to their critique I’ve grown tremendously as a writer and as a person. I will truly appreciate any kind of critique, even coming from people who are not able to give critique in a stylish way. Their shortcoming in this field will only be pitied by me, and their behavior will be merely for me examples of incorrectness.
I was once insulted here in HubPages by a so-called respectable hubber, and I did take his accusations serious, because it was so terribly unfair and the perfect example of chauvinism and the abusive behavior of (ignorant and egotistical) men towards women. So I did defend myself impulsively – what a traumatic experience! But in the process I’ve grown and also got rid of some stinky skeletons in my cupboard.
This is a great hub, my friend. Your advice is absolutely superb!
I love the way you have encouraged the reader to consider the remarks, evaluate their merit and choose whether or not to accept it. It was a great hub with lots of information that will be helpful to those of us who are new and raw with our "babies" as you put it! Well done! I voted up, useful and interesting and look forward to following your hubs!
Great hub, one other thing I noticed you did but did not say is hubs that explicitly ask for feedback.
xmobile - So glad to see you here. Even when feedback is asked for, we can be direct and honest without being negative or attacking. Thanks, as this is a good point!
If someone disagrees with you, it can provide an interesting addition to your article. Sometimes people point out mistakes, on mine, that I am so glad they did! But then again, I have had some very insulting comments that include foul language, and strange ones that are actually gibberish. I have changed the comments so that they only appear if I approve. Then readers won't see a string of curse words or other trashy remarks which can detract from the entire article.
Dolores, I like your ideas! I can't imagine anyone leaving foul comments. That would upset me. If someone wants to show how immature they are by leaving comments with foul language...well, they are showing the world just how pitiful they are. Thanks, my friend!
Ha, ha and the hub was about handbags or dresses or something that did not offer any kind of opinion that someone could get mad about. Well, they ain't showing anybody how pitiful they are on mine.
prektjr.dc - Thank you so much for the wonderful, kind comments. You are such an asset to all of us here on Hubpages! I look forward to reading your hubs and getting acquainted with you. Appreciate your vote up and wish you great success!
How well I respond depends upon how tired I am and what else is going on in my life. I have been criticized for my work and brushed it off right away like it doesn't matter. And I have been places in my life where the tiniest criticism seems like a major disaster. And sometimes, the difference is just one day to the next because with my insomnia, I don't sleep a normal number of hours, or even the same number of hours.
breaskfastpop -I like the way you deal with this sort of thing. It's most professional. And you've given them the choice to visit or not. Good going!
breakfastpop Level 8 Commenter 13 months ago
I handle this type of thing according to the comment. For the most part I am always polite. If things get out of hand I suggest that perhaps visiting my hub may not be the best idea.