Good Short, Humorous and Funny Quotes
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Benefits of Laughter
Laughter positively affects many aspects of our life, including our health, well-being and energy, which leads to a healthy and better quality of life.
When we laugh, it causes certain chemical changes to our body. It has been proven that as we laugh, we release enzymes and hormones that are helpful for normal functioning of various organs. This is due to a connection between laughing and stimulation of brain and different glands Out immune system is also become stronger.
In addition, laughter helps relieve stress, depression, anxiety, grief, anger and irritation. Laughing also decreases pain by releasing a hormone, endorphins. It improves our attentiveness, pulse and heart rate.
So, sit back, relax, pour yourself a nice glass of water or herbal tea and
enjoy these short, funny quotes.
Laughter is Youthful
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
-- Andy Rooney
I always wait for the Times each morning. I look at the obituary column and if I’m not in it, I go to work.
-- A. E. Matthews (quoted in Filmgoer's Book of Quotes, 1973)
In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out.
-- Joey Adams
We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.
-- Jeff Marder
Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.
-- George Burns
Have you noticed that all the people in favour of birth control are already born?
-- Benny Hill
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
-- George Burns
The mistake a lot of politicians make is in forgetting they've been appointed and thinking they've been anointed.
-- Claude D. Pepper
We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.
-- Frank McKinney Hubbard
Laugh and the World Laughs With You
Many people die at twenty five and aren't buried until they are seventy five.
-- Max Frisch
A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.
-- Texas Guinan
Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
-- Stephen Wright
Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.
-- J. Paul Getty
The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.
-- Peter Ustinov
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.
-- Robert Orben
The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'.
-- Larry Hardiman
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car"
Short funny quotes, Unknown.
"I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house."
Short funny quotes by, Zsa Zsa Gabor
"I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
Short and funny quotes, Rodney Dangerfield
"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."
Short and funny quotes, Winston Churchill.
"Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand."
Short funny quotes, Unknown.
"My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil."
Short funny quotes, Paul Getty.
"Its been a rough day. I got up this morning .... put on a shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. I'm afraid to go to the bathroom."
Short Funny Quote by, Rodney Dangerfield.
Baby Twins Laughing
Laughter in the Rain - Niel Sedaka
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Laugh and the world laughs with you...
Short, humorous quotes can help others to feel better when a rough and difficult day happens.
I always make it a point to memorize a few short, humorous quotes along with a clever and funny joke. I want to be empathetic and supportive, but at the same time, if an opening comes along in the conversation I will pull out a quote. More than not, this has helped to make someone feel much better.
"Laugh and the world laughs with you - weep and you weep alone". Ella Wheeler Wilcox - 1883
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Great funny quotes, just loved them; some I knew, but is always good to remember them when you "need them most"
How gloomy the earth will be if laughter is not present... Thank God, it is naturally a part of every soul He created. ^_^ Thanks for a good laugh here! ^_^
When I read your story with the shy pupil, then I was touched, - your writing had depth. That I'm missing here when you write about laughing and also in those jokes you are quoting. I like to tell a joke in certain moments, when a situation needs a light and uplifting energy and then it is astonishing to observe how the laughter in an instant changes and clears up the atmosphere. The question is, if the energy comes from the joke or from the person who is telling the joke... That's probably the reason why most jokes, when one reads them, are not so funny. Anyway, it is good to think about it and so one can use this tool in a more effective way, because one is more conscious about using it.
I made a video some time ago, what I believe is funny and might make you laugh, so this is my 'thank you' to you: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Se9Ry3VNDU
Awesomely useful, funny and beautiful! No writing come to mind that is more appropriate for "now". God bless! Funny and beautiful!
These were great............ laughter is one of God's greatest gifts. Kaie
It is good to look at life on lighter side!Thank you Vocalcoach!
Just love this hub, really needed something like this to cheer me up at the moment.
Audrey, I agree with you 1,000 percent. Laughter is good medicine and it makes the world go round and he or she who laughs, lasts!
Loved the laughing babies and the resurrection of the Donald O'Connor dance routine - he was remarkably funny!
Laughter, good for the soul. I enjoyed and laughed when I read your article...
This was GREAT! I especially like: The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'. LOL! This just made my morning.
Great Hub! The babies laughing had my cat run to the screen to take a look at all that baby laughter. Apparently, even animals can't resist baby laughter! Made me smile even more! Keep 'em coming!
A wonderful hub and laughter is the best medicine.
Those photos are so funny.An up and an awesome I think.
Thank you so much for sharing this brilliant hub.
Take care Audrey.
Violets are blue
Roses are red
You make me laugh
because there's only one You!!!!
Just what I needed. Thank you. Great laugh
Best advice ever. Thanks for writing.
Gosh, daydreamer13 - So grateful for a comment like this.
What a great hub I will link this to my stress management hubs - love the new profile hub with your dog - both laughing and happy!
I love these funny - no, hilarious - quotes! Just love them. Thanks for making my day lighter.
Love and peace
Tony
What a beautiful hub from you. I really enjoy all the short humorous quotes. I also love the video, this make me laugh and smile. Thanks for share with us. God bless you. Take care!
Prasetio:)
This is so true, and I am really glad I came upon it.
Laughter is infectious, and I am riddled with it. heehee
I just thought of that, and I'm gonna use it for my next Hub hahaha
Looking forward to reading more from you
Thank you : }
debbiesdailyviews - Wonderful to see you! Isn't laughter fabulous? I think we all need a little more of it. Thanks so much.
prasetio30 - The video has been one of my favorites for years. The dancer, Donald O'Conner was an outstanding dancer. Thanks my friend.
tonymac04 - Thank you tony for enjoying the quotes. I believe laughter is good for our health - both mental and physically. take care, my friend.
Yup, yup, yup! Laughter is the best medicine. Also the greatest healer...I speak from experience. :) Love your hub!! Thanks for the laughs too, vocalcoach.
shygirl2 - You are so right. It also takes less muscle to laugh, then it does to frown. Just a good thing to do for ourselves. Thank you.
Hi, I loved these! I also liked the poly ticks! ha ha great hub, voted up! cheers nell
Nell Rose - Thank you Nell. Glad to give you a smile. You have a beautiful one, you know!
Hello, Hello - How wonderful it is to hear that I made you laugh. Keep it up, my dear friend.
Hi Audrey
What a truly enjoyable hub. I enjoyed reading it from start to finish and I sang along to Neil Sedaka. I hadn't heard this song in a very long time and had forgotten just how much I liked it. Well done and thanks.
Amber:)
Amber - I can just imagine your singing along with Sedaka. I still love this song! Thank you for the nice comments and keep on smiling. :-)
epigramman - awwwwe gee. Thank you kind sir!
Eiddwen - I always love a good laugh. I even go back and read these quotes myself. :-) So nice to read your comments. My very best to you.
Scribenet - How cute for your cat to enjoy the babies laughing too. Wish I could have seen that. Love your comments. Thanks, my friend.
dallas93444 - thanks so much for reading my hub. Very happy to know you had a few laughs. Thanks dallas!
drbj - There is much to find humor in if we but look for it. The funniest of all, is ourselves. Thank you for your comments and sending you my best (which is really worth a laugh or two). :-)
leni sands - I feel so good that my hub could give you some cheer. Refer to it whenever you need to. I do that myself, if I run into a bad moment. Keep that gorgeous smile working for you, and others. Thanks, leni. :-)
missmilky - You are so right. Dwelling on past negative experience, keeps us in chains. Laughter opens up all kinds of possibilities. Keep a smile on that lovely face!
Kaie - I totally agree with you. Thanks for commenting and taking time out to read my hub. :-)
Cute. "Poly Ticks" is my favorite.
Betty - Thank you and I agree. Have an amazing day!
Mickey Dee - Thank you so much Mickey for those nice words. Learning to see the humor in especially the difficult times will make things better. Everytime I pass a mirror, I laugh! Big hugs :-)
Runabstract - Love your comments! Really am delighted you had a good laugh. My thanks to you. :-)
pinkhawk - So nice of you to comment on my hub. I am looking forward to reading your articles as well. Thanks. Vocalcoach :-)
After a bad night, I really needed to read your hub! Thanks a lot for all the smiles
irenemaria - Your comments made it worth writing. Sorry that you had a bad night. Very glad my hub helped to cheer you up. Keep smiling!
Oh my Bless you BLESS you BLESS YOU! I so needed a smile, a lift a laugh. I love and adore your beautiful soul and may you be radically and abundantly blessed so's to keep you full and paying it forward. The world needs you! Thank you! :) Katie
Katy, you sweet lady you - I thank you so so much for your blessings...happen to need a couple right now. :-)
You make me feel so good. And I love to laugh. The best medicine of all is laughter and gratitude. But the best of all blessings for me has been knowing you right here on HP's. You are a blessing, for me and so many others. Thank you, my Katie!
Awesome! A great way to start the week with a light heart. Thanks.
PaperNotes - Appreciate your reading my hub. Thanks for a nice comment. Have a wonderful week!
Carrie450 - Very glad you enjoyed these funny quotes. I love to laugh. When I find myself with a worry on my mind, I switch to something funny. It sure helps. Thanks, Carrie.
what i like about the video is the twins!!!
LA Losers - You have good taste! Appreciate your reading my article. I hope I see you again, real soon. Thanks!!
Oh what do I say? Not much at the moment because I am still chuckling to myself.
This hub is a tonic and yes without a doubt laughter is most definitly the best medicine!!!
As for the little twins well there couldn't have been a better ad for non scratch mitts could there!!!
Thank you so much for sharing this my friend.
take care,
Eiddwen.
nice hub! I laughed, I cried, I stuck my finger in my eye.
loved it.
Ha...ha...ha! Now, you have me laughing aloud. You sum it all up, like the pro you are. I just have to know you better, therefore, I'm hopping ove to your hubs. :)
i read you hub, i chuckled and against my name in the register i maintane to check whether i am alive i signed my name for the day with a flourish.
good one kate.
neeleshkulkarni - Welcome to my hub! I have a big smile on my face from reading your wonderful comments. Thank you, my new friend!
Great hub, I enjoy laughing but I never aware of that laughing has so many good effects. Thumbs up :)
James - Oh, yes...laughing is a healthy thing to do. Glad you now know that. Have a good laugh on me! :)
Funny stuff, thanks for the laughs!
Mystery Planet - You are so welcome. Anytime. And now, on my way to visit a hub or two from you. :)vocalcoach
@vocalcoach...Very funny Hub! I adore the way you used the dog and baby pictures to join in the laughter!
Nice work!
Barb - Oh, thank you so much. I adore both babies and dogs. I have a Shih Tzu that has trained me well for 11 years. Take care!
Amazing hub, it really made me laugh:):):)
Hi Ana - Oh, very good. Exactly the kind of reaction I was hoping for. Laughter is, indeed, the very best medicine. Thanks.
Thank you so much for posting this! There is nothing better than humor to get the day moving along, and I called my hubby over to read with me. He's a big Rodney Dangerfield fan.
Good morning beth - You've made my day! Thrilled that you and your hubby had some good laughs. R. Dangerfield is one of my favorites too. Enjoy your saturday and thank you.
Ha..ha..ha! Couldn't stop myself laughing out. Some great jokes/quotes here.
AnkushKohli - You've made my day! Love to bring laughter to my friends. Be sure to bookmark this so you can return to a laugh or two when you need it the most. Thanks so much!
Thanks for sharing a laugh with me.
Laughter is a easier exercice than the gym. We can do it anywhere and not have to worry the guy on the weight bars had a bath before coming to the gym
I will try to read more of your articles
Hi teacherjoe! Great to see you here and l Loved your comment. Added to my laughter for the day. Thanks a lot and hope to see you again real soon.
carrie450 18 months ago
Nice hub vocalcoach. Some of those quotes are so funny and I liked the video with the two babies laughing too.