Have a Laugh or Two on Me - Give Your Brain a Break

Laughter is contagious. Ever found that you are laughing when others laugh? This happens to me in a movie theater. I may not even see the humor in a particular scene that I am watching - but still I find myself joining in the laughter and howls of others. And what a good time I have. And I leave the theater, refreshed and in a very good mood, ready to take on the rest of the day.

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. ~Woody Allen

Laughter researcher Robert R. Provine said: "Laughter is a mechanism everyone has; laughter is part of universal human vocabulary. There are thousands of languages, hundreds of thousands of dialects, but everyone speaks laughter in pretty much the same way.” Everyone can laugh. Babies have the ability to laugh before they ever speak. Children who are born blind and deaf still retain the ability to laugh.

The human race has only one really effective weapon, and that is laughter ~ Mark Twain

Source: Robert R Provine

• The quickest way to get rid of stress is to laugh. I do my best work after a good hearty laugh. It seems to clear my mind and increase my adrenalin. I make it a point to find something humorus several time during the day . . . even if it's just going to you tube and searching for "laughter" or "funny".

The following are from my personal collection:

Men Jokes

• A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the
  happiest woman in the world...'
  The woman replies, 'I'll miss you......
• Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
  A: It helps them remember which end to wipe..
• Men are like ... Chocolate Bars.
  Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
  
  'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out
  of the shower.. 'Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I
  mowed the lawn like this?'
  'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.

While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands
would be found in all corners of the world.........

.............Then He made the earth round.

Women Jokes

• The Wife

  A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.

  After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die.

  "Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.

  "Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly.

  "If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."

  On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"

  "He said you're going to die," she replied.

• Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition ~ Timothy Leary
• Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking ~ Bill Vaughan
• Women are like telephones they like to be held and talked to but if you push the wrong buttons you could be disconnected

Laughter Really is the Best Medicine

Here are a few facts on why laughter is good for the mind, body and even the soul.

• laughter really does burn calories - 10 to 15 minutes of hearty laughter can burn 50 calories
• humor may raise the level of infection-fighting antibodies
• laughter, along with an active sense of humor, may help protect you against a heart attack
• laughter immediately reduces stress and worry

The only reason to take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." - Henny Youngman
Here is one of my favorites:

3 Doctors are at a Convention talking Shop.

The first Doctor says: "I love doing surgery on Artists, they are so colorful: red Hearts, pink Stomachs, green Spleens."

The next Doctor says: "Me, I love doing surgery on Accountants, open them up and all their Parts are numbered, makes it very easy.”

The third Doctor says: "I love doing surgery on Lawyers, they have no Heart, they have no Guts and the Head and the Ass are interchangeable!"

An elderly woman died last month. Having never married , she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, 'They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead.

At Sunday Schoolthey were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnnyseemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, 'Johnny, what is the matter?' Little Johnny responded, 'I have pain in my side.. I think I'm going to have a wife

Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, 'What do you think about all this Satan stuff?'
The other boy replied, 'Well, you know howSanta Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad.'

Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, 'My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50..'
The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100.'
The third boy says, 'I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!'

Learning to find humor in the little things that go on around you is going to add years to your life. If you look hard enough and long enough, you can always find something to laugh about. And if you can't manage a good old giggle, then even a smile will help you to have a better day.

Learning to live on the "light side" is a choice. If you are looking at the glass as "half empty" , only you have the power to see that same glass as "half full".

Please scroll down to view the
singing corgi's ~

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida , are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in.

Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?"

The pharmacist answers, "Yes."

Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?"

Pharmacist: "Of course we do."

Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?"

Pharmacist: "All kinds."

Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism and scoliosis?"

Pharmacist: "Definitely."

Jacob: "How about Viagra?"

Pharmacist: "Of course."

Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?"

Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works."

Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?"

Pharmacist: "Absolutely."

Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers?"

Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes."

Jacob: "We'd like to use this store as our Bridal Registry.

A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply
for Social Security.

The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license
to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had
left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very
sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home.

"I will have to go home and come back later."

The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt."

So he opens his shirt revealing some curly silver hair.

She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for
me," and she processed his Social Security application.

When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his
experience at the social security office.

She says, "You should have dropped your pants... You might have
gotten disability too."

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Give away a laugh a day - even if it's only to yourself.

Take a laugh break at least once a day

You'll find that things will start going your way

Then when you've enjoyed a laugh or two

pass a laugh on to one who is blue ~ Audrey Hunt